I don't know.

This really helped me when I was feeling really down the last few months.

It's a blog entry I came across one day.

One of my favourite passages of scripture, found in 1 Nephi 11:17 says "...I know that he (God) loveth His children, nevertheless I do not know the meaning of all things."

"Turn your overflow of sorrow into love" <3

"Dear Ones -

I woke up yesterday in joy, and went to bed in sorrow.

I woke up yesterday to the delightful news that my book was a #1 bestseller, and went to bed heartbroken and shaken by the awful news of yet another mass-shooting in America. 

I won't be writing a political message here today. The internet is filled with outraged people arguing with each other this morning, and I can't bring myself to contribute more argument to the world right now.

This morning, I'm just writing to say: I don't know. 

My heart is broken, and I don't know what to do about it — in the same way that I don't know what to do about the plight of the Syrian refugees, or the rise of ISIS, or the deterioration of the Sudan, or the stubborn endurance of racism, or the onslaught of climate change. 

I don't know. I don't know how to fix any of it. 

I do know this, though: I know that great joy and great sorrow have something in common, which is: they both cause us to overflow. Joy and sorrow are emotions that make us SPILL — because they are too big for us to contain. 

I always know what to do with my overflow of joy — that's easy: You dance it out, you laugh it out, you celebrate, you cheer, you pop the champagne.

I don't always know what to do with my overflow of sorrow. Last night, alone in a hotel room, I lay awake for hours, overflowing in too much sadness to handle. I found myself saying again and again to God, "I don't know what any of this is for, but please help us." 

I also found myself thinking about a beautiful young woman at one of my speaking events recently, who asked me how — after a recent devastating personal loss — she is meant to go on. She asked me what God intends, by making her suffer so much? I don't know what her loss was, but I could see by her face, it was very bad. 

What was that loss FOR?

The answer is: I don't know.

I don't know what suffering and sorrow and injustice and brutality and loss are FOR. 

It's so easy to know what joy and happiness and love and grace are FOR — they are to be celebrated and shared. Joy and good fortune seem to be proof of our divine blessings — proof that God is smiling upon you, proof that you are being looked after, proof that your angels are protecting you, proof that life is fair. 

But what is suffering for? 

I always hate the simple, reductive answers people often offer up about suffering — because I feel like those answers sometimes only bring more sorrow to those who are in pain. 

To blithely say that "This is God's will," in the face of terrible events, seems cruel to me. (Or worse, to say "This is God's punishment!" — Lord help us, what a brutal and inhumane statement.) 

To tell a mother whose child has died, "God must have wanted another angel," is almost too awful to bear. 

To say, "Well, that must be karma", is also terrible and dismissive. You might as well just shrug at someone's unbearable pain and say, "Hey, crap happens man." 

To say, "Someday this will make you stronger," to someone who is at their weakest? No. Don't ever say that. 

To say, "Maybe this tragedy will open up people's eyes about what's going on, and so your child's death won't have been in vain!" is to use another human's life as a political tool. Which is just monstrous. 

To say to someone who is being asked to endure the worst sorrow of their lives: "God never gives us more than we can handle!" is so outrageously hurtful, I don't know how anyone ever got to the end of that sentence without being punched in the face. 

People seem awfully confident at times, speaking on behalf of God's agenda. 

I don't where people get their confidence, to say that they know what God is up to. I don't make such presumptions. In the face of outrageous sorrow, I can only say, "I don't know."

And once we have said that — "I don't know" — then we have reached the end of ourselves. Then, maybe all we can do is sit in silence with the person who is suffering, or with the people who are suffering, and just say, "I will stay here with you." 

That's easier to do on the intimate scale than the global scale, but I feel like that's what the great compassionate souls have always done. They say to a sorrowful world: "I don't know why this is happening. But I will stay here with you. I will sit beside you. I see your pain, and although I don't know how to solve it, I will be here with you." 

The great compassionate souls always take their overflow of sorrow and turn it into love. 

I don't have any answers for anyone today. This is one of those days for me when the world overwhelms, and I feel very small. 

But when the world starts to feel overwhelming in its sorrows, I always ask myself to look around me — to narrow down my focus — and to notice somebody who is nearby me, who is suffering. I can't help the millions, but maybe I can help one. You never have to look very far to find a suffering soul. Life is hard; there is always someone going through great pain. I tell myself: Go sit with that person today for a while. Don't try to solve their life, or answer for God, or offer dismissive "reasons", or try fix the whole world. Just say, "I don't know. But I will sit with you through this." 

Turn your overflow of sorrow into love. That's the only thing I know how to do sometimes."

-Elizabeth Gilbert

the Lord's timing

Sometime's the Lord said "Yes"Sometimes He says "No"And sometimes He just needs us to wait.

In our service in the Lord’s Church we should remember that when is just as important as who, what, where, and how.

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

It is so hard when sincere prayer about something we desire very much is not answered the way we want. It is especially difficult when the Lord answers no to that which is worthy and would give us great joy and happiness. Whether it be overcoming illness or loneliness, recovery of a wayward child, coping with a handicap, or seeking continuing life for a dear one who is slipping away, it seems so reasonable and so consistent with our happiness to have a favorable answer. It is hard to understand why our exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not bring the desired result.

"To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good, even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it."

1 Nephi 17: 

And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

No one wants adversity. Trials, disappointments, sadness, and heartache come to us from two basically different sources. Those who transgress the laws of God will always have those challenges. The other reason for adversity is to accomplish the Lord’s own purposes in our life that we may receive the refinement that comes from testing. It is vitally important for each of us to identify from which of these two sources come our trials and challenges, for the corrective action is very different.

It is important to seek to understand why we have certain trials in our lives.

First, are these challenges coming because of sin? 

Repentance brings a peace that surpasses all understanding. In saying that though, just because a person repents does not necessarily mean that all the challenges they are facing will go away. True repentance, however, will allow the person to feel the Saviour's love more consistently, with a greater measure of comfort and strength to face those challenges. 

Second, are our challenges the Lord's "refining" process?

If this is the case, we might take comfort in the Lord's words to Joseph Smith when He says "all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good." Without running faster than we have strength, serving others who are going through this process can be healing for us too.

It is not enough that we are going in the right direction. The timing must be right, and if the time is not right, our actions should be adjusted to the Lord’s timetable as revealed by His servants.

"While faith is not a perfect knowledge, it brings a deep trust in God, whose knowledge is perfect"

"The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best?" 

To recognize the hand of the Lord in your life and to accept His will without complaint is a beginning. That decision does not immediately eliminate the struggles that will come for your growth. But I witness that it is the best way there is for you to find strength and understanding. It will free you from the dead ends of your own reasoning. It will allow your life to become a productive, meaningful experience, when otherwise you may not know how to go on.

“The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true with the second coming and with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord’s timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes.” 

..."Those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.' (Isaiah 40:31)

References:

"Trust in the Lord", Richard G Scott 

"Lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds" Neil A Maxwell

"Timing" Elder Dallin H Oaks

Testimony and Conversion

There is a difference between receiving a testimony of truth and being truly converted. 

"Testimony is the beginning of and a prerequisite to continuing conversion."

A testimony is much more than just a knowledge of religious doctrine; it is a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost that something is true. One who has a testimony of the gospel, however, still has a choice to be faithful and diligent in living what they know to be true.

"Strong testimony is the foundation upon which conversion is established."

The great Apostle Peter bore his witness to the Savior that he knew that Jesus was the Son of God.

“[Jesus] saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

“And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

“And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 16:15–17).

Even though Peter had a testimony, he was not yet fully converted. Perhaps it was necessary for Peter to experience the pain that denying the Saviour brought (weeping bitterly after the cock crowed) in order to strengthen his conviction and determination to live his testimony.

The Saviour counselled, “when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren” (Luke 22:32).

In order for our testimony to grow, we share it with others.

In order for continuing conversion, we must strive to help strengthen the testimony of others.

Jesus taught Peter that there was still a great change that must go beyond having a testimony to being able to think, feel, and act as truly converted disciples of Jesus Christ. That is the mighty change we all seek. Once we obtain it, we need that change to continue until the end of our mortal probation (see Alma 5:13–14).

If any of us relies solely upon our knowledge and testimony of the gospel, we are in the same position as the blessed but still unfinished Apostles whom Jesus challenged to be “converted.” 

"Testimony is a point of departure; it is not an ultimate destination." 

Knowing by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ is important and necessary. But earnestly coming unto Him and giving our whole souls as an offering requires much more than merely knowing. Conversion requires all of our heart, all of our might, and all of our mind and strength (see D&C 4:2). 

Being converted to the Lord

Note that the Lamanites (who gave up their weapons of war) were not converted to the missionaries who taught them or to the excellent programs of the Church. They were not converted to the personalities of their leaders or to preserving a cultural heritage or the traditions of their fathers. They were converted unto the Lord—to Him as the Saviour and to His divinity and doctrine—and they never did fall away.

"Knowing that the gospel is true is the essence of a testimony. Consistently being true to the gospel is the essence of conversion. We should know the gospel is true and be true to the gospel."

Were the five wise virgins selfish and unwilling to share, or were they indicating correctly that the oil of conversion cannot be borrowed? Can the spiritual strength that results from consistent obedience to the commandments be given to another person? Can the knowledge obtained through diligent study and pondering of the scriptures be conveyed to one who is in need? Can the peace the gospel brings to a faithful Latter-day Saint be transferred to an individual experiencing adversity or great challenge? The clear answer to each of these questions is no.

We know from our own experience and from observing others that having a few great moments of spiritual power will not be enough. Peter denied he knew the Savior even after he had received a witness by the Spirit that Jesus was the Christ. The Three Witnesses of the Book of Mormon had direct testimony given to them that the Book of Mormon was the word of God, and yet later they faltered in their ability to sustain Joseph Smith as the Prophet of the Lord’s Church.

The Apostle Paul taught that the Lord’s teachings and teachers were given that we may all attain “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ” (Eph. 4:13). This process requires far more than acquiring knowledge. It is not even enough for us to be convinced of the gospel; we must act and think so that we are converted by it. In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something.

A parable illustrates this understanding. A wealthy father knew that if he were to bestow his wealth upon a child who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature, the inheritance would probably be wasted. 

The father said to his child, “all that I have I desire to give you—not only my wealth, but also my position and standing among men. That which I have I can easily give you, but that which I am you must obtain for yourself. You will qualify for your inheritance by learning what I have learned and by living as I have lived. I will give you the laws and principles by which I have acquired my wisdom and stature. Follow my example, mastering as I have mastered, and you will become as I am, and all that I have will be yours.”

Many Bible and modern scriptures speak of a final judgment at which all persons will be rewarded according to their deeds or works or the desires of their hearts. But other scriptures enlarge upon this by referring to our being judged by the condition we have achieved.

From such teachings we conclude that the Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. 

"The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become."

The reason charity never fails and the reason charity is greater than even the most significant acts of goodness he cited is that charity, “the pure love of Christ” (Moro. 7:47), is not an act but a condition or state of being. Charity is attained through a succession of acts that result in a conversion.

Charity is something one becomes. 

May we know the gospel is true and be true to the gospel.
May we become all that our heavenly father desires us to become.
May we strengthen others as we continue in our conversion, having built it upon the sure foundation of our testimony of Jesus Christ; "a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall".
(Helaman 5:12)

References:

"Trust in the Lord", Richard G Scott

"Converted unto the Lord", David A Bednar

"The challenge to become", Dallin H Oaks

The language of the spirit

Listen to the still small voice!

Listen! Listen!

When you have to make a choice.

He will guide you always.

"And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilæans? And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born?"
(Acts 2:7-8)

If you try speaking English to a Spanish speaker, they aren't going to understand, right? That's because to you, green is green, but to them green is verde. But it's still green. The language is just a label. So if you point at the color, both the English speaker and the Spanish speaker can understand what you mean. On the other hand, even people who speak the same language have trouble understanding each other sometimes because they have experienced things differently. To some, hearing the words, I love you, might really mean I love you. To someone else it might mean, I want something from you.

"Language came from a desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another." 

"It had to be easier when it was just language for simple survival e.g sound for water or sabertooth tiger right behind you. When it gets really interesting is when we use the same system of symbols to communicate all the abstract and intangible things like frustration, anger love etc. Words are just symbols, and so much of our experience is intangible…but when we communicate with one another and we think we've connected and we think that we're understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion and that feeling might be transient but i think it's what we live for."
-Waking Life; language as symbols

There is a way to connect with our heavenly father and with one another on a deeper level - "there is a form of communication that transcends the power of words."

What if, in reality, every single one of us speaks a different language? Though we may share the basic structure of language, like English vocabulary, grammar, etc., we still understand things differently because of the different experiences we've had in our lives. So if we are depending entirely upon physical means to communicate, we will never be able to help another person truly understand what we are saying.

What if, the language that the Spirit speaks to us is one that everyone can understand? What if this language relies on experience rather than on semantics to communicate? So instead of communicating the words, it would instead teach us by helping us experience the thing it wants to communicate.

When you say "I love you" and someone replies "yes, I understand - how do you know they understand? And perhaps they only understand in the context of their own experience, but that doesn't mean that their understanding is the same as yours. So what if the Spirit speaks to our individual understanding based on our individual experiences. So to one person, the Spirit might whisper "I love you" to get them to understand and to another person he might whisper "You're acceptable the way you are", and yet be teaching the same principle to both people.

"This I have observed: There are no language barriers in the Church. There is a mighty power that transcends the power of messages conveyed by words alone, and this is the power of messages communicated by the Spirit to our hearts. In every land and clime the sweet Spirit of our Savior communicates to all who seek the truth, regardless of tongue or dialect. It is a universal messenger to every heart in tune. I have felt it everywhere in my recent experiences, regardless of the prevailing language spoken, and I testify to the power and authenticity of such communications. The Spirit is as operative today in communicating the gospel to all who seek the truth as it was on the day of Pentecost anciently."

“For it shall come to pass in that day, that every man shall hear the fulness of the gospel in his own tongue, and in his own language, through those who are ordained unto this power, by the administration of the Comforter, shed forth upon them for the revelation of Jesus Christ.” D&C 90:11

Boyd K Packer challenges us to "be prepared to have the language of the Spirit with you individually and to cultivate and develop that talent." Sister Linda K. Burton explained that "just as learning an instrument or a language is a process, learning the language of the Spirit is also a process." She goes on to explain that "discerning the Spirit is a gift of the Spirit. Just as learning a language comes easily to some and not to others, so does the ability to understand the whisperings of the Spirit."

More often than not, understanding the language of the Spirit is a process. It takes time, effort and humility. In some cases, however, just as some are talented in learning languages, some are blessed with a swift and significant understanding of the language of the spirit and how it communicates to the hearts of men. The Lord expects those with this wonderful gift of the spirit to use these talents to bless the lives of others, first and foremost inviting others to come unto Christ.

What can we do to better tune in to the voice of the Spirit? We can begin by recognizing that our Father in Heaven wants to communicate with us. We know this because all latter-day prophets have taught the doctrine of personal revelation.

Listen with your heart

The voice of the Spirit comes as a feeling rather than a sound. You will learn, as I have learned, to “listen” for that voice that is felt rather than heard. Nephi scolded his older brothers in 1 Nephi 17:45 saying, “Ye have seen an angel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were past feeling, that ye could not feel his words.” On another occasion he said, "And now I, Nephi, cannot write all the things which were taught among my people; neither am I mighty in writing, like unto speaking; for when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men."(1 Nephi 33:1)

When people say, just listen to your heart, we often think of how cliche that statement is, I mean it's not like your heart even speaks right? But feelings do contain an energy, an energy that is just as strong as words. We need to listen to the feelings that are sent to our hearts by the promptings of the Spirit. Only then will we learn to listen to and communicate with the language of the Spirit.

Brethren, acquire the language of the Spirit. It is not learned from textbooks written by men of letters, nor is it acquired through reading and memorization. The language of the Spirit comes to him who seeks with all his heart to know God and keep His divine commandments. Proficiency in this “language” permits one to breach barriers, overcome obstacles, and touch the human heart.
(To the Rescue)

President Gordon B. Hinckley observed: "That’s the test, when all is said and done. Does it persuade one to do good, to rise, to stand tall, to do the right thing, to be kind, to be generous? Then it is of the Spirit of God."

http://www.ldsfreedomforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=22724

hope on, trust on.

"Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy." 
-2 Nephi 2:273

The Apostle Paul taught that the scriptures were written to the end that we “might have hope.” 

Can we experience true joy without hope? I think not.
I know that if we want to have more hope, we must strive to study and ponder the scriptures more. This can help us to cultivate a greater sense of hope in the Saviour and faith in Heavenly father's plan for us.


Moroni 7 tells us that without faith there can be no hope.

So what's the difference between hope and faith?
Neil a maxwell said that "as the perimeter of faith expands, so the circumference of hope enlarges accordingly." Picture this:

When you have faith it's like you are holding a candlestick and you take a step in the dark. After each step of faith we take, a subsequent lantern is lit further down the hallway - this is the shining hope we receive after each step in faith, showing us that there is more to hope for and work towards.

"Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith" -Ether 12:6

Sometimes, that witness that we receive is the gift of hope.

Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. Its absence—when this desire of our heart is delayed—can make “the heart sick.” 

I think this is so true and it's good to do a bit of self assessment and realise that our lack of hope can often lead to feeling of depression and paralysing despair.

"Hope is a gift of the Spirit. It is a hope that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power of His Resurrection, we shall be raised unto life eternal and this because of our faith in the Saviour. This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment,  and, as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace,  mercy, rejoicing,  and gladness. The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet;  it is the foundation of our faith  and an anchor to our souls. ^"

Having hope is actually a commandment. Satan tempts us to lose hope. As hard as it is, we must realise that this is a very important commandment to keep, probably one of the most important. Especially in our day and age, the adversary tried to convince us that there is no hope for us. We are either too damaged or too flawed, too broken or too rejected, too fragile or too weak. While we may be damaged, flawed, broken, rejected, fragile, or weak, we are NEVER too far gone that the Saviours love cannot reach us and heal us. No one is perfect. Recognising that is important. But having the hope that one day we can be perfected through the atonement of Christ is essential to our happiness.

"Moroni in his solitude—even after having witnessed the complete destruction of his people—believed in hope. In the twilight of the Nephite nation, Moroni wrote that without hope we cannot receive an inheritance in the kingdom of God."

Moroni was an amazing man! The fact that he witnessed the entire destruction of his people, and had to live out his days in solitude, yet did not lose hope is amazing. There is no doubt in my mind that the only way he could have had that sort of hope was through his testimony of the Saviour Jesus Christ and his constant and complete reliance on Him.

"The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward. Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear."

I really like this imagery of despair being a staircase that leads only downwards and hope being the brilliant dawn that pierces even the darkest of nights. I think that scripture is so try - we are free to choose liberty and eternal life, or captivity and death. We are free to choose joy or remorse of conscience. No matter what has happened to us in the past, we a responsible of the attitude we choose to take on in the present and into the future.

"The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God."

Let us strive to be more full of hope, even when our situation seems completely hopeless.
I add my testimony to the testimony of Joseph smith, that as we put our hope and trust in the Redeemer of Israel, we WILL see the salvation of God.
"Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God."

Mental ilness

I've struggled with mental illness on and off since I was a teenager.

Of course I could blame it on genetics, having a history of mental illness in the family.

I could blame it on things that happened in my childhood.

I could blame it on my environment growing up.

I could blame it on the media and the way it targets the emotionally vulnerable for profit.

I could blame it on myself for being so naive and ignorant. 

I could blame myself for giving in to temptation, or for wilfully rebelling against what I know is right.

But I won't pass blame onto anyone or anything.

I can't change the past and I wouldn't want to; I am who I am today because of everything I've been through.

My brother Jared struggled with bipolar disorder and other serious mental health challenges some years ago. I was speaking to him about it the other day and he said something that hit me hard. He said that when he was being diagnosed with this and that, and being told he had different conditions etc he realised something- "Only I could decide who or what I wanted to be." I think the real root cause of mental illness is when we forget who we are, and we don't know who we want to become. When we forget who we are, we lose our true sense of identity and seek to find it in other ways - this is often when addictions begin to form.

There are things everyone can do to boost their health. Of course it comes back to living the word of wisdom to the best of our knowledge and ability. Get enough sleep, eat nutritious meals, don't partake of anything that is harmful to your body. As hard as it is, I know that eating badly is one thing that seriously impedes on my mental health, but it is something that I just find so hard to give up. Eating unhealthily is for me, I feel, my only outlet. But I don't need to cut everything out, I just need to try and find healthier substitutes. It's difficult when everything that is healthier is ten times more expensive. Of course, exercise is another thing that will really help. I walk every day, but I need to try and get my heart rate up by going for a run or a swim and making more consistent efforts throughout the week.

I know that doing things I love will help. Music, singing, composing, writing prose and poetry, spending time painting or doing other forms of artwork, spending time with family etc. And of course the most important daily things: reading the scriptures, praying, fasting etc. I think I can be more diligent with my personal prayers and open up more to heavenly father and really let out everything I'm thinking and feeling. I also know that I need to fast more often and that will help too.

I don't know if this is something I can ever overcome, but I trust that if I am faithful and striving to do all that I can, the Lord can help my weaknesses to become strengths. I know He can purify me and refine me, so that I can be a vessel through which others are able to partake of His love. I know that the Saviour Jesus Christ lives. He lives, He loves me beyond what I can imagine, and He loves all of His children equally and unconditionally.

I hope, one day, i will be able to have the firmness of mind that allows me to feast upon the love of God forever.

Jacob 3: 1-2

Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions... lift up your heads and...feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever.

Self mastery

"Before you can master yourself, my precious one, you need to know who you are." 

-Russell M. Nelson

"There will always be voices telling you that you are foolish to believe that you are swans, insisting you are but ugly ducklings and that you can't expect to become anything else. But you know better." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.” 

-Leonardo da Vinci

We need to know who we are before we can develop self mastery.
For, how do we master our "self" if we do not know the "self" we are seeking to master.

So, who are we?
We are spirit sons/daughters of God with divine potential.
We also have a physical body and therefore are "natural" men and women.

"You consist of two parts—your physical body, and your spirit which lives within your body. You may have heard the expression 'mind over matter'. That’s what I would like to talk about—but phrase it a little differently: 'spirit over body.' That is self-mastery."

-Russell M. Nelson

Self mastery is not about controlling the "natural man/woman", but rather it is about making a conscious choice; it is choosing to strive for our divine potential.We know that the "natural man is an enemy to God"..."unless he yields to the enticings of the spirit." (Mosiah 3:19) We also know that each human being suffers similar temptations. (1 Corinth 10:13)Nevertheless, for each individual, certain temptations are more difficult to resist than others.It is important to ask ourselves, in honesty: 
What are our weaknesses? What are we easily tempted by? 
This is the "self" we are seeking to master.

A change of heart

What a wise thing it is to change our questions. To quit asking “How can I get control of my life, my children, my situation?” and start asking “How can I experience the mighty change of heart? How can I yield my will to His? How can I put God first in my life and trust Him totally? How can I remember that God is in charge, that all things happen for a purpose, and that all trials are tailor-made for our growth and individual instruction? The relief that comes from asking the right questions is transformative, comforting, freeing.

"The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." -Ezra Taft Benson

“A new heart . . . will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26).

"Master, with anguish of spirit

I bow in my grief today.

The depths of my sad heart are troubled.

Oh, waken and save, I pray!

Torrents of sin and of anguish

Sweep o'er my sinking soul,

And I perish! I perish! dear Master.

Oh, hasten and take control!"

Note the difference in the final two lines of the following poems. The first poem is entitled "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley. The second poem is a replica of the first, but replaces self-mastery with the Saviour's ability to captain one's soul. The second is entitled "My captain", by Dorothea Day.

"I am the master of my fate;   I am the captain of my soul." Contrasted with

"Christ is the Master of my fate,
 Christ is the Captain of my soul."

Some steps towards Self Mastery:

Observe the law of the fast
As funds are contributed from meals missed, the needs of the poor may be met. But meanwhile, through your spirit, you develop personal power over your body’s drives of hunger and thirst. Fasting gives you confidence to know that your spirit can master appetite.

Observe the Word of Wisdom
Remember, it contains a “promise, adapted to the capacity of … the weakest of all saints.” (D&C 89:3) It was given “in consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days.” (D&C 89:4)

Exercise
“Glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Cor. 6:20)

I would not want you to neglect your body. It deserves daily care. Physical conditioning through regular exercise requires self-mastery too. But our motivation should never be to attain physical longevity.  Our desires should be to serve God and His anointed. Those faithful in “magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of their bodies. They become … the elect of God.” (D&C 84:33–34)

Serve others
President Spencer W. Kimball observed: “To be unselfish totally, always thinking of others before one’s self, is a great step toward self-mastery.”

Never give up

A small child learns to walk by falling and getting back up. Self-control often comes the same way. We must never get discouraged. Are our only two options perfection or failure? No! We need to be happy with progress, no matter how small.

Fill your life with goodness

We must make sure that we FILL our minds with goodness. It is not enough to merely cast out all evil thoughts, if our minds consist of nothing else. We must be "anxiously engaged in a good cause"! We must give our mind options of other thoughts to think! Our minds cannot survive without nourishment - thoughts. Emptying all negative thoughts, with nothing else to sustain our minds will lead to a natural resistance as an act of self-preservation. It is not enough for an ill person to cure themselves of disease, if they do not give their bodies all other life-sustaining substances. One who quits smoking by simply stopping breathing will die. Sure, they are no longer breathing in smoke, but neither are they filling their lungs with anything that sustains life. Thoughts of the Saviour are the most life-giving thoughts one can think, for he is the "life and the light of the world."

“May we be convinced that Jesus is the Christ, choose to follow Him, be changed for Him, captained by Him, consumed in Him, and born again” -Ezra Taft Benson

"Christ is the Master of my fate,

 Christ is the Captain of my soul."

Let virtue garnish thy thoughts

Proverbs 31:10 

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

We were warned at the beginning of this dispensation that sexual immorality would be perhaps the greatest challenge we would face.

"Sometimes people try to convince themselves that sexual relations outside of marriage are acceptable if the participants love one another. This is not true. Breaking the law of chastity and encouraging someone else to do so is not an expression of love. People who love each other will never endanger one another’s happiness and safety in exchange for temporary personal pleasure."
(True to the Faith, Chastity)

"Why is lust such a deadly sin? Well, in addition to the completely Spirit-destroying impact it has upon our souls, I think it is a sin because it defiles the highest and holiest relationship God gives us in mortality—the love that a man and a woman have for each other and the desire that couple has to bring children into a family intended to be forever. Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite."
("Place no more for the enemy of my soul" - Jeffrey R. Holland)

"True love can alter human lives and change human nature." 

-Thomas S. Monson

Thomas S. Monson speaks about the courage we need in three aspects of our lives:

• First, the courage to refrain from judging others;
• Second, the courage to be chaste and virtuous; and
• Third, the courage to stand firm for truth and righteousness.

"To be entrusted with the power to create life carries with it the greatest of joys and dangerous temptations. The gift of mortal life and the capacity to kindle other lives is a supernal blessing. Through the righteous exercise of this power, as in nothing else, we may come close to our Father in Heaven and experience a fulness of joy. This power is not an incidental part of the plan of happiness. It is the key—the very key." ("Cleansing the Inner Vessel", Boyd K. Packer)

The deadly plague of Pornography

“You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed.”
-Gordon B. Hinckley

In our day the dreadful influence of pornography is like unto a plague sweeping across the world, infecting one here and one there, relentlessly trying to invade every home, most frequently through the husband and father. The effect of this plague can be, unfortunately often is, spiritually fatal. Lucifer seeks to disrupt “the great plan of redemption,”; “the great plan of happiness.”

Pornography will always repel the Spirit of Christ and will interrupt the communications between our Heavenly Father and His children and disrupt the tender relationship between husband and wife.
The priesthood holds consummate power. It can protect you from the plague of pornography—and it is a plague—if you are succumbing to its influence. If one is obedient, the priesthood can show how to break a habit and even erase an addiction. Holders of the priesthood have that authority and should employ it to combat evil influences. 

("Cleansing the Inner Vessel", Boyd K. Packer)

 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.  (Romans 12: 21)

Elder Hales expresses that "ironically, standing strong sometimes means avoiding and even fleeing from the world." We see this clearly in the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. Genesis 39:12 - And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and FLED, and GOT HIM OUT.


..." let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God" -DnC 125: 45

There is hope!
There is always repentance; the Saviour waits with open arms.
Isaiah 1: 18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

In the scriptures, there are countless references of men and women "hardening their hearts" and thus turning away from the love that Heavenly Father and the Saviour desire to bless us with. For anyone who has ever experienced a broken heart, I'm sure they can agree that it is much easier to harden your heart than to forgive and open our hearts again. If we forgive and soften our hearts, then we become vulnerable and there is a fear that we might be hurt again. If we submit to the Saviour, he can help us to heal and move on. "Perfect love casteth out all fear." - 1 John 4:8


Alma 39:4 
Yea, she did steal away the hearts of many; but this was no excuse for thee, my son. Thou shouldst have tended to the ministry wherewith thou wast entrusted.
I often read this verse and feel a great sense of pain and sorrow for my sins. Yes, many people are led away to by the evils of our day, but that is "no excuse for thee my (daughter)". As members of the Lord's church he trusts us to be disciples of our Saviour, and I feel that we must strive to be more diligent in maintaining higher standards of chastity and virtue.


Moroni 10:30 
And again I would exhort you that ye would come unto Christ, and lay hold upon every good gift, and touch not the evil gift, nor the unclean thing.


We must continue to be vigilant in keeping ourselves morally pure and virtuous.
Hopefully one day, when we have done all we can to remain pure and worthy the Lord will say to us:
"Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."
(Matthew 25:21)